Some things just require professionals to make sure that they are done correctly, safely, efficiently, and with little fear of setbacks in the future. While adoption may seem like something one can achieve through court paperwork, there are many cooks in the adoption kitchen. Legally, adoption will require the intervention and facilitation of many adoption experts to ensure an adoption process is navigated with professionalism and excellence. There are three types of adoption experts who play a vital role in the adoption process.

Agencies

One of the first things any prospective adoptive parent will do is find an adoption agency to help facilitate their adoption. An adoption agency is needed in almost every adoption to ensure that the process is handled professionally and in accordance with both federal, state, and, if applicable, international adoption laws. Adoption agencies are also utilized by birth parents to legally place their child with a family and to ensure they receive the social services necessary to support the pregnancy and their adoption plan. An adoption agency will have the most expertise on the adoption process and is invaluable to both prospective and birth parents.

Social Workers

Depending on the type of adoption someone is pursuing, social workers may play many different roles. For foster care adoption, the social worker will handle most of the adoption process including considerations for the well being of the child. In any adoption, social workers facilitate the necessary steps in the adoption process such as the home study and education for prospective adoptive parents. In most states, social workers also perform post-placement visits for a new adoptive family to ensure the child is being cared for and there are no additional services needed. Social workers are at the heart of the adoption process and are the main common component that will be found in every adoption. Adoption cannot be achieved legally without the important work of these adoption experts. 

Attorneys

Adoption attorneys are involved in every adoption case; however, some may be through an agency or organization. However, many choose to hire an adoption attorney in addition to their agency or in many cases of kinship adoption. Some may also choose to use just an adoption attorney in cases of independent adoption, though they would still need to use an agency or licensed social worker to complete their home study. Adoption attorneys provide that extra reassurance that the law is being followed closely in adoption proceedings. They are able to facilitate the legal process but also represent you if you find yourself in an uncomfortable or unfamiliar position. Adoption attorneys will also be available to represent the best interest of a birth parent. Some states require that the adoptive parents pay for legal representation for the birth parent. With the many twists and turns that adoption can bring, adoption attorneys are incredibly helpful to navigate all the red tape. 

Adoption experts are important because adoption is one of the most important endeavors you will ever take in your entire life. There is no room for error. You will need those in your corner who have done this before, many times, as well as those who have an extensive knowledge of the adoption process. The most important aspect of your adoption will be making sure that it is carried out efficiently and legally. Adoption experts ensure that abundant care is taken to make sure every “t” is crossed and every “i” dotted.

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1. Adoptive parents. The first expert you need is an adoptive parent. Before making the decision to adopt, it is important for you to talk to someone you know who has previously adopted a child. They can provide you with advice and help you determine if adoption is right for you. They can also support you throughout the process by encouraging you and giving you tips.
2. Adoption Social Worker. The second person you need is an adoption social worker. An adoption social worker is a person who facilitates the adoption and works with both the family and the child. An adoption social worker specializes in working with children who have been legally separated from their biological parents. An adoption social worker may focus on domestic adoption, international adoption or both. They divide up their time between schools, the office, hospitals, foster homes, adoptive parent homes and any other place where the child may go. 
3. Adoption lawyer. Once you have decided on adoption, you need to get an adoption lawyer. An adoption lawyer can help you navigate the legal aspects of adoption and help you complete the necessary paperwork. They may also represent you in court and give you advice throughout the process.
4. Adoption doctor. The last expert you will need is someone who specializes in adoption. Whether you are adopting domestically or internationally, an adoption doctor can help you both prior to the adoption by helping you determine the best child for you based on medical information and after the adoption by completing any necessary medical exams to help the child. 

These are the top four experts you need for your adoption journey, but you may find that you need more help than just this. It’s important to think about what you need for your adoption journey before deciding on the help you may receive. I wish you the best on your journey. 

Considering adoption? Let us help you on your journey to creating your forever family. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.

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I was adopted when I was seven years old. We adopted my two youngest children when they were five and ten. As older children, we were adopted because something broke. Something in our lives shattered, and we had to have a new family.

Adopting an older child means you are going to have to work for their love. While I felt a connection to my boys immediately, they had no such connection. With a very concerted effort on my part I earned their trust and love. After about eight months I said to my then 11-year-old, “You know you love me – why don’t you just say it.” I received a half a grin and a humph. I took that as an “I love you” and high-fived my husband. After 13 years, the “I love yous” are few and far between but earnestly given.

Adopting an older child means you are going to have to help them catch up. I was adopted at seven but had never been to school. My mother spent many hours helping me catch up to the other first graders. My boys had the added challenge of having to learn to speak a new language and the youngest was developmentally behind. It was not always fun and sunshine when I was learning my alphabet or my boys were learning their multiplication tables. There were times when they really wanted to lean on an adoption excuse. There were times when I just wanted to hand them a calculator and call it a day! In our family we work hard, and now they were family – so no excuse. When the oldest started taking calculus, I threw up my hands and called uncle. He had to start tutoring me!

Adopting an older child means you are going to teach things you never thought you would have to. At seven my mother had to teach me how to run the bath water and take a bath properly. My five year old had to be taught to use toilet paper. The ten year old had never ridden in a car. These children have not had an opportunity to learn what we consider “normal things.” Be careful to take these learning opportunities in stride and not make the children feel deficient. We all must learn sometime. Some of our most fun times were the smiles when a challenge had been mastered.

Adopting an older child means you will need to protect them for a while. Well-meaning people will say things that will make you cringe. Today, you would never know my boys were not always a part of our family, but there was a time when it was obvious and people loved to point out to them how lucky they were to be adopted. It doesn’t feel lucky when you are going through it and to be told how lucky you are when you are miserable isn’t helpful. You will need to get ahead of the comments from teachers, friends, and even family. They need to be able to feel whatever it is they are feeling and not feel guilty for it.

It’s a challenge to adopt an older child. There is a lot of sass and a lot of tears. Sometimes those tears are yours, and sometimes they belong to the child. They can be wonderful tears. When you see the little boy who couldn’t even jump off the curb trying out for the jump rope team, you will have tears. When the little boy who won’t say “I love you” comes in the kitchen and gives you a huge hug you have tears. It is all worthwhile when your now seventeen-year-old suddenly says from the back seat, “Hey Mom, you know I love you right?”  Yeah, more tears.

Adopting an older child means you have much more love in your life! 

Do you feel there is a hole in your heart that can only be filled by a child? We’ve helped complete 32,000+ adoptions. We would love to help you through your adoption journey. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.

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1. It must be a desire that is growing in your heart.

Adoption is difficult, in many aspects, and doing it on a whim is just going to end in heartache for someone. The desire can be birthed out of many things: infertility, loss, adoption within your family as a child, or just a desire that’s always been there. Infertility and loss spurred me on, but the desire was there even before those issues came to be. There is an adoption poem I have always loved…

Not flesh of my flesh

Nor bone of my bone,

But still miraculously my own.

Never forget for a single minute,

You didn’t grow under my heart,

But in it.

-Fleur Conkling Heyliger

2. Adoption can be open, closed or anything in between.

Some birth families choose adoptive families early in their pregnancy and get to know them throughout it. They develop a relationship that then grows into something so beautiful for the child: two families blending together to love a child. Some birth families choose at birth or after, and some don’t have a choice due to choices they’ve made and rights being stripped.

My family includes my son whose adoption is semi-closed. We send pictures and a written update once a year to the adoption agency we used. His biological parents have the choice whether they want to contact the agency and see those updates or not. They may not ever choose to do so, but if and when they do they will have that information. My daughter’s adoption was through the U.S. foster care system and it is completely closed. Her biological parent’s rights to her were taken from them by a court of law and so contact was not allowed. We have continued that after the adoption, for her safety.

Open or closed is the decision of the adoptive and birth families, and it can be altered to best suit both families’ wants and desires.

3. Adoptions take place internationally or domestically (in-country).

International and domestic adoptions take place through an adoption agency. A private adoption is one between two parties that can be done with a lawyer; leaving out the adoption agency. In the US we also have foster care, which is full of children of all ages awaiting a family. Foster care adoptions take place through child welfare agencies. There are so many more details specific to each type of adoption, but we are just sticking to the basics here.

4. Cost.

Adoption, like most things in life, does come with a financial cost. Domestic and international adoptions come with hefty fees–to give a broad scope, it would be between 15k and 50k. Private adoptions tend to run lower in cost coming in between 5k and 15k. Foster care adoptions are next to nothing in comparison, between $500 and $1500. Some foster care adoption fees are completely reimbursed which is a huge blessing! The costs can be astronomical, but trust me when I say that it is all worth every dime!

5. No more privacy.

Be prepared to let it all out. You will be required to fill out form after form asking invasive questions in regards to your childhood, family, and your past. Then, a caseworker will come into your home and ask you the same questions in person. You will also have to give a tour of your home; inside, outside, up and down. Your financial status will be reviewed, evaluated, and questioned as well. Privacy no longer exists, but that pretty much is to be expected with parenting as well!

It is so hard to get through all that adoption entails in one article. Out of all of the details that adoption requires remember that it will be one of the very best things you will ever do in your life. It is loving a child, giving a child a family, giving your family a child and there is nothing more satisfying or rewarding than that. I hope this info helps ease that anxiety and make that smile a little bit wider. Happy adopting!!! (And don’t forget if you have an adoption question to ask right here!) If you want to start the adoption process by creating an adoption profile, visit adoption.com/profiles to do so.

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